Nearly every popular teen film or series, especially from the nineties had a sleepover scene. They’re cheesy, funny, eventful and fun, which is why hardly any sleep happens during sleepovers, whether on celluloid or in real life. Sleepovers — widely represented in movies and once a hallmark of childhood years, summer vacations and cousins’ get togethers are dying a slow, steady death. But how did things come to this? Last month, the incident of a 12-year-old in Massachusetts dying after falling off the window during a slumber party, rekindled the debate on sleepovers, although for different reasons.
What do the child safety experts say?
The potential of hidden dangers multiplies as, during a sleepover, a child is placed in another home. Thereby being exposed to any inappropriate behaviour of adults, bullying by older siblings and risky behaviour of other children as well. Kristi McVee, ex-child abuse detective and now child abuse educator, says, “Slumber parties are where most abuse happens. As a child abuse detective, I used to see this often where children would go to a family member’s house or a friend’s house and this is where child sexual abuse would happen either by an adult at the house, a family member, a cousin or you know someone who’s related. I don’t recommend children going to anyone else’s houses until they are 100% or you’re 100% sure that they will stand up for themselves, they know their body safety rights, you’ve taught them about body safety that they will speak up, that they will push back, that you can go get them or contact them if you need to.”
She further emphasises the need to teach children about body safety early on. “So that they know when someone is acting inappropriate and they will say something.” She adds, “Sleepovers also give unrestricted and sometimes unsupervised access to your child. Your child stands exposed to other parents, siblings, their friends, step parents, cousins; basically anybody visiting the house.”
The horrifying cases of sleepovers gone wrong
Sleepovers did not die a sudden death, although they did experience a steady decline as more and more horror stories of child abuse kept making their way to online communities and forums. The subject has been frequently touched upon in cinema too. The most recent being a 2025 mini-series ‘The Stolen Girl’, where a mother’s life is turned upside down when she agrees to her nine-year-old’s request of having a sleepover with her new best friend.
Also read: Does ‘cognitive shuffling’ really help you get to sleep?
It’s a generation of parents that has first-hand suffered the dangers of issues being swept under the rug, the horrors of silence and not speaking out about uncomfortable situations – sometimes for the sake of family honour and at other times, for the fear of public humiliation. Which means it’s a generation that knows child protection begins at home and among those known to the family. It’s also a generation of parents that has grown up aware, courtesy the anonymity and powerful reach of online platforms.
The alarming statistics on child abuse
The generation of millennial parents knows far too much about child abuse and how it is often committed by ‘trusted sources’ to let the culture of sleepovers continue. The statistics on the subject might vary marginally from one nation to another but are in almost all cases, alarming and point to one grim reality — in ninety per cent of the cases, child abuse is committed by someone known to the child. As per WHO data 2022, 1 billion children globally are estimated to experience sexual violence. The figures haven’t improved over the years. As per CDC data 2024, 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys in the US are estimated to experience child sexual abuse.
Sleepover — only when the child is prepared and the parents are sure
Teaching children about body safety, boundaries and tricky people is imperative for safe sleepovers. Ensuring that the child feels it’s safe to speak up and knows how to listen to gut feelings are very crucial too. Mcvee further busts the myth of sleepovers being ‘comparatively safe’ for boys, as she addresses the issue in one of her follow-up posts on sleepovers. They are, “just as dangerous for boys as they are for girls.” The horror stories shared by survivor-parents in the comments section, unfortunately, further confirm things.
The social media platforms are inundated with blogs and posts about how to have a safe sleepover. Dr Beth Robinson, a licensed professional counsellor specialising in counselling children who have suffered sexual abuse, touches upon sleepovers in a separate chapter of her book Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognise and Respond to Sexual Dangers. Among many other things, Robinson suggests that parents do careful research, prepare their children and be aware that, “Sleepovers place children in a vulnerable situation.” Little wonder, they are increasingly becoming a thing of the past.
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