Nearly a year after Jammu and Kashmir Administrative Service (JKAS) officer Dr Raj Kumar Thapa was killed in Pakistani shelling in Rajouri during Operation Sindoor, his family is still struggling to accept that he is no more.
Remembering him ahead of his first death anniversary, his wife Dr Meenakshi Kundan Thapa said grief remains fresh even today, though the family carries deep pride in his sacrifice. She said the family is proud that while 'not in uniform, he served like a soldier'.
Dr Thapa, a 2001-batch JKAS officer serving as Additional District Development Commissioner of Rajouri, died on May 10 last year when a Pakistan artillery shell hit his residential quarters amid intense cross-border shelling. His wife described him as “a soldier without uniform”, saying he stayed on duty despite grave danger, supervising evacuations and ensuring civilians were moved to safety.
"The word (martyrdom) sounds grand when we hear it in books, but only those who endure loss understand its true meaning. Martyrdom is also another name for death, and after that a person never returns," she said, her voice trembling as tears welled up in her eyes.
She said even a personal tragedy in the family could not pull him away from work. "He had a valid reason to come home as there had been a death of a minor child in the family and his presence was needed. But he said, 'If I leave now, it will be written as a failure on my part. Duty comes first'," she recalled.
Meenakshi said he chose to remain in Rajouri, saying leaving during the crisis would mean failing his responsibility.
"From the day the shelling began, he had not returned home for several days. He was moving in shelling-affected areas to monitor evacuation. He stayed in his official quarters, even though it was among the most unsafe areas as it was the direct aim of enemy shelling," she said.
"Still, he never thought of leaving. He was continuously serving people, coordinating evacuations and ensuring relief reached those in need," she added. "The last night we spoke, he told me shelling had already intensified and more rounds were expected. He asked us to stay safe, avoid windows, and also called relatives to warn them. Yet, he never left his post because he believed it was his 'karmabhoomi (place of duty)'," Meenakshi said.
"We are proud that he departed wrapped in the Tricolour, with full state honours. But pride is one thing and personal loss is another," she said. His death left an irreplaceable void for the family, especially their children, who sometimes still hope he will return.
"A home is made by the people living in it, not by its walls. He was the centre of our lives, our family, our community and our neighbourhood. Everyone knew him as 'Doctor sahib', a man who always met people with warmth and positivity," she said. "Even today, people come to us in tears saying they had never seen such an officer before. He lived in the hearts of the people," the aggrieved wife said.
Reflecting on the human cost of conflict, she said innocent people often suffer the most during such times. "It is very easy to say one or two people died. But only those who lose their loved ones know the pain they carry for a lifetime," she said. “No honour or compensation could truly fill the void left behind by a loved one's death,” she further added.
While the state honoured him with full honours and a memorial museum in Rajouri now preserves his legacy, his wife says no recognition can ease the pain of losing a loved one.
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