why-so-many-are-falling-apart-inside-even-when-life-looks-fine

We are living in a time of extraordinary convenience. We have access to almost everything our previous generations could only dream of — better income, digital connection, instant services, and a sense of freedom that wasn’t possible just decades ago. We can order groceries from our phones, eat out every week, travel to our favorite destinations, schedule therapy sessions from our couches, and connect with people across the world in seconds.

 

From the outside, many lives look “sorted.” We are earning more than our parents did. We are ticking off goals. We are “blessed.” And yet, many of us are silently breaking inside.

 

India has seen a worrying rise in suicide cases in recent years, affecting people from all walks of life. We have seen a surge in anxiety, depression, and emotional burnout — not just among the visibly struggling, but also among high achievers, public figures, and seemingly “strong” individuals. It’s becoming clearer that this isn’t a money problem. It’s not a power problem either. It’s a soul problem. Somewhere along the way, in the race to do more and be more, we have quietly lost connection with ourselves.

From top students at institutes like IIMs and IITs to well-known celebrities, the pressure and emotional burden seem to cut across professions and age groups.

 

 

Who can forget the death of actor Sushant Singh Rajput in 2020? His passing sparked a nationwide debate on mental health in the entertainment industry. In 2019, Café Coffee Day founder VG Siddhartha died by suicide, reportedly due to financial stress and pressure from authorities. On July 22, the principal of a private school in Chandigarh reportedly took his own life - a reminder of how stress among educators often goes unnoticed.

Several bright students from IITs and IIMs have also taken this extreme step in recent years, reportedly due to academic pressure, overwhelming expectations, isolation, and fear of failure.

These cases remind us that behind seemingly successful lives, silent struggles often go unnoticed — highlighting the urgent need for open, compassionate conversations around mental health.

As these tragedies and expert voices remind us: behind strong resumes and curated lives, there may be silent cries. It’s time we make space for deeper conversations, redefine what success really means, and create environments—at home, in schools, and at workplaces—where people feel safe to be vulnerable.

“Self-awareness is key to success,” said Dr CR Chandrashekar, renowned psychiatrist and Padma Shri awardee from NIMHANS.

Advocating for greater mental health awareness, Dr Shekhar Seshadri, a senior child and adolescent psychiatrist, emphasised, “Life-skills are vital in fostering mental health in children — decision-making, emotional regulation, and communication.”

And as actoress Deepika Padukone, who has openly spoken about her own battle with depression, once said: “You are not alone. Help is always available. All you have to do is ask.”

This is a stark reminder that just because someone’s life looks perfect on the outside doesn’t mean they’re okay on the inside. More and more people are quietly falling apart — and it’s time we ask why.

To truly understand what’s going on, we need to look at the quiet, hidden forces shaping how we live and feel every day.

 

The Two Worlds We Are Living In

Most of us today are living in two different worlds. One is our actual life — messy, imperfect, and deeply human. The other is the curated, picture-perfect version we see on social media. This constant comparison makes us believe that everyone else is thriving while we alone are drowning. And that illusion is exhausting. It breaks our confidence and drains the energy we need to actually face our challenges.

 

We Are Disconnected — Together

 

 

Another deep wound of modern life is the death of real connection. We are always online, but rarely with each other. Whether we are at workplaces, family dinners, get-togethers, or parks, our eyes are often fixed on screens instead of faces. In this tech-savvy world, we have stopped building honest, vulnerable bonds — the kind that let us say, “I’m not okay” without fear of judgment. So when things fall apart, many of us feel like we have no one to turn to. We don’t even know how to turn to ourselves.

The Flawed Definition of Success

We have also been raised with a flawed idea of success. We have been told that if we earn well, look good, own things, and settle down, we will feel secure. But success that’s measured only by external markers can never offer true peace. There will always be someone doing better, looking better, having more. That kind of comparison never ends. True success is knowing you can handle life — even when it feels hard. It’s about building inner strength, emotional safety, and self-trust, not just a picture-perfect resume.

In this environment, it’s no surprise that many people feel ashamed of their pain. Especially if their struggles don’t “look justified.” But we need to remind ourselves: we can be grateful and tired. We can be loved and feel lonely. We can have a good job and still feel like something’s missing. That doesn’t make us broken — it makes us real.

So what’s the way forward?

Not another wellness hack or self-improvement trend. What we need is something more honest and more human: a return to ourselves. 

We need to slow down, to listen within, to sit with our thoughts and ask: What do I really need right now? What am I ignoring inside me? Where have I stopped being honest with myself?

Because healing begins not when the world changes, but when we come back home — to the part of us that still hopes, still tries, and still believes in something better. That part hasn’t left. It’s just been waiting quietly beneath the noise.

So if you’re reading this and something inside you whispers, “That’s me” — know that you’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re not weak. You’re simply being asked to come home to yourself.

You still hold the pen. And this moment is just a chapter — not the whole story.

 

By Dipika Kandewal